Monday, October 18, 2021

Love, Marriage, Family and Children - Part 4 - Choice matters...




Standing against a typical 'living the given way person' is not always easy. The whole system is built upon justifying their believes. So it's not an easy task arguing against them. Regarding children, we two are keeping our mouths shut all the time but there is always pressure in situations others put on us. Pressure still pushes me and I'm sure that it pushes her too. And I'm pretty sure that it will remain the same throughout our entire lifetime. (Well, at least till the age we are no longer capable if we lived that much) Also, I'm sure it's the same for all the people who live by their own set of rules set by their own choice. Choices people make derail them for an alternate direction, or to stand still. All of them are naturally becoming the victims of "standard" society. Even if the different style of them isn't hurting anyone, the heavy currents of the 'river of standards' continue to flood on them.

I know you might think of all of those points others make as irrelevant. But I'm making a point here about the people we have to deal with. There's nothing more to that. Believe what you think correct and that belief must based on solid grounds. Understanding other people is a way to distinguish yourself among them and it's important to know them in that aspect. So if you plan to have an alternate decision, your partner or anyone who cares about you should be concerned. How would the decision affect them?

I'm worried about her because of that. Though we had the decision together, we are not always together. And sometimes people with an alternate choice are always trying to escape from a problem and easily falling into another one. It's always a life with unusual problems. Probably unexplored. The solutions are not properly studied. One has to find the best solution but it's like a blind test. Because it's always a new problem and there is not a moment like that before. Definitely not an accessible recorded version. If you are a heavy reader, you may have come across characters who faced a similar situation. But the solution may not be useful in the same way. Always have to find your way.

So the topic about the child was again on the table. And again we couldn't find any reason to make one. Things were not in there best state at that moment. So we buried it temporarily to consider in a moment we both feel comfortable. Probably a moment which is never going to come.

I can't help this post being this much longer, I intended to write something else but this isolation lead my hands to obey my mind and type the shit coming out without thinking twice.

The major reason I don't want a child is because I don't want to get out of the current zone of comfort. Don't want to give up the freedom I have. Even after being married, I am almost a free man. And I believe I have given that space to her too. I don't know how she took that either. But she seemed fine apparently. I know for sure that every stupid thing I did because I wanted to keep the connection.

Does 'she being fine' (Remember, she looked OK to me but she was not) mean that she doesn't need a kid? In the discussion, she had some logical reasons for not having kids might comfort her. But again I have doubts whether she really means that. She doesn't need a child all alone?
Or is it me? the reason? Am I not the person she wants to have her child?
Or maybe she had seriously thought that out and decided it's better for her to stay plain.

Only she knows.


To be continued

Thursday, January 21, 2021

The boy who harnessed the wind


The movie was a coincidence. I had no idea such a movie existed till someone posted about it in a facebook movie group. I watched it and immediately wanted to read the book. And here are some of the words crossed my mind while I was reading.


It's the story of history of the people of Malawi. At least of some of them. Even though it's a vastly distant region from where I live, I could see many similarities. And at some points, I was amazed from the fact that how similar humans have evolved culturally over the past few thousand years.


It's funny and dramatic. We are so similar and yet we've found many differences among us.


The small details of the book are making quality pictures about the situation. It's almost life like. I know the movie helps to have them drawn. But movies doesn't have them all as always.


The relationship between William and his father reminded me of my father. We had many ups and downs in our relationship but over time, while I was being matured, I've realized he's always been a part of me. My father has passed over 10 years ago and I feel for him remembering the moments we had together. How William describes him and his father, how their connection heated and cooled pictured some exact moments I had with my father.


Some moments of the book was so dramatic and heartfelt and it made me feel the moment to my bones. It happened largely because the characters are already drawn in my mind. I know how Chiwetel Ejiofor would act in those specific moments and I know how he would make me feel the moment. Those moments are written superbly.


It's interesting how he expands his character. He's curious and has questions all the time. And he doesn't get any certain answer from anyone. Yet, he never stops exploring. The engineer inside of him awakes slowly. And we are supporting him unconditionally. 


Political harshness of the era was not new to me. I also live in a same kind of country. Well, not entirely but close, really close. Those power greedy, selfish morons always work with the same agenda in mind. Stay in power and do everything to keep it. Comparatively, I believe we happen to live in a better environment than Malawians but I highly doubt it would remain the same in the future.


And isn't it funny? The Malawian president? As William himself says in multiple occasions? Isn't the government a joke? They take the advantage of the short sighted people. Mostly people only see the shortcomings of a situation. The president once promised to give each Malawian a pair of shoes if he win the election and people voted him. After when people questioned for their shoes, he went on the radio and said do I look like crazy? How do I know shoe sizes of every Malawian? I never promised shoes. 


Maybe people forget it after. We could say that, with the lack of media and knowledge, people may have been deceived. But believe me, here in my country, we have access to variety of media and knowledge these days and we still are being cheated always.


One reason for me to consider reading this book is because I thought I would get a fair picture about the life of Africa. The movie does help to some extent so the book must go far beyond. And if you are a reader who love that kind of reading where it talks about the life and struggle of a society which is alien to you, go for this book. It's detailed to the soul of William Kamkwamba. A typical but ambitious Malawian.


We all struggle in our lives. The things we struggle and how much is the struggle are different from each other. Obviously for the different reasons. Here in my country, we struggle for mental and social reasons rather than for the basics. But in this story in Malawi, their struggle for food is so intense that it made me think constantly about my life. Actually about all of our lives. Why the hell we are worried for... We have a great life compared to them and yet there are thousand things we complain for. You may say everything depends on the economy and social expendability but yet in this globe where we have humans all over, some are even struggling for the very basic things. And it made me wonder... how can we call ourselves humans? As a race, we have failed. Not only ourselves, but the whole animal kingdom we share the blue ball alone with.


And the effort the writers has taken to recreate the exact moments William experienced is tremendous. We can simply transform ourselves and live the moment. Probably feel the moment too. And yes, liveliness of the book is something I say here repeatedly.


If you think extensively for a moment about the many problems people suffer, you may find those problems occur mainly because of the leaders. When the leader is shitting on his people, there's no way the people could win. Improper decision making always strike back in the long run. Greed of the leader leave so little for a country. And those greedy leaders consciously promote being greedy and hence give birth to many greedy henchman in his below levels. And it spreads to the entire society. Greed and power dominates. Slowly there are 10 per cent of greedy people holding 90 per cent of the wealth of the country. And the rest of the 90 per cent of people suffer with the little 10 percent of wealth they have. And I once again realized that truth. Greed always leads a country to poverty.


But this is a book about victory. And a tough journey of a single guy towards it. In William's stories of hard times, there are moments that would bring a smile to your face and probably a tear to your eyes. A forgiving father by the name of the god and few kind words and actions of a teacher who wished all the success for a student, might fire you up in tears. It's just those little things that make you happy. And better not forget the goosebumps you'll have when you join with the emotions of the characters in some wonderfully written moments.


One good thing I love about the country I live is the free education and healthcare. Of course it's not perfect and has many drawbacks but still what we have is better than nothing. So the fact that Malawians have to pay for the higher education is something I felt terrible.


The most interesting thing about this kind of a story is it has that underdog tone. At least that's something I loved about that. In fact, almost all the people love a story where once ignored guy becomes the hero.


Another thing I could connect tightly with William is because what he does is straightforward to me. With the little electrical knowledge I have, I totally understood how his mind worked. And how he thinks of matters and reverse engineering the result to an initial state is exactly the logical way anyone could think of. He remembered me the childhood I had with small motors and batteries. And many other things I tried to make. But all I made was a cob web remover. It's just a rod attached to a small motor powered by a single D type battery. The rod was a 1.5 feet long eakle taken from a coconut leaf. and it was attached to he metal rod of the motor by a plastic inner ink tube of a ball point pen. The spinning of the eakle removes the cob webs almost perfectly. It's not much but the fun was remarkable. Anyway, with those memories colliding with William's story lured me to a combined journey together.


I know that this is one success story and there could be hundreds, maybe thousands of unsuccessful stories. Their achievements are only staying with them due to the lack of recognition nevertheless they enjoy every moment on the journey achieving it. Recognition is the reason that we got to knew the story of William Kamkwamba. But that doesn't mean Williams story is less. He's now a hero of mine.