The boy who harnessed the wind

The movie was a coincidence. I had no idea such a movie existed till someone posted about it in a facebook movie group. I watched it and immediately wanted to read the book. And here are some of the words crossed my mind while I was reading.

It's the story of history of the people of Malawi. At least of some of them. Even though it's a vastly distant region from where I live, I could see many similarities. And at some points, I was amazed from the fact that how similar humans have evolved culturally over the past few thousand years.

It's funny and dramatic. We are so similar and yet we've found many differences among us.

The small details of the book are making quality pictures about the situation. It's almost life like. I know the movie helps to have them drawn. But movies doesn't have them all as always.

The relationship between William and his father reminded me of my father. We had many ups and downs in our relationship but over time, while I was being matured, I've realized he's always been a part of me. My father has passed over 10 years ago and I feel for him remembering the moments we had together. How William describes him and his father, how their connection heated and cooled pictured some exact moments I had with my father.

Some moments of the book was so dramatic and heartfelt and it made me feel the moment to my bones. It happened largely because the characters are already drawn in my mind. I know how Chiwetel Ejiofor would act in those specific moments and I know how he would make me feel the moment. Those moments are written superbly.

It's interesting how he expands his character. He's curious and has questions all the time. And he doesn't get any certain answer from anyone. Yet, he never stops exploring. The engineer inside of him awakes slowly. And we are supporting him unconditionally. 

Political harshness of the era was not new to me. I also live in a same kind of country. Well, not entirely but close, really close. Those power greedy, selfish morons always work with the same agenda in mind. Stay in power and do everything to keep it. Comparatively, I believe we happen to live in a better environment than Malawians but I highly doubt it would remain the same in the future.

And isn't it funny? The Malawian president? As William himself says in multiple occasions? Isn't the government a joke? They take the advantage of the short sighted people. Mostly people only see the shortcomings of a situation. The president once promised to give each Malawian a pair of shoes if he win the election and people voted him. After when people questioned for their shoes, he went on the radio and said do I look like crazy? How do I know shoe sizes of every Malawian? I never promised shoes. 

Maybe people forget it after. We could say that, with the lack of media and knowledge, people may have been deceived. But believe me, here in my country, we have access to variety of media and knowledge these days and we still are being cheated always.

One reason for me to consider reading this book is because I thought I would get a fair picture about the life of Africa. The movie does help to some extent so the book must go far beyond. And if you are a reader who love that kind of reading where it talks about the life and struggle of a society which is alien to you, go for this book. It's detailed to the soul of William Kamkwamba. A typical but ambitious Malawian.

We all struggle in our lives. The things we struggle and how much is the struggle are different from each other. Obviously for the different reasons. Here in my country, we struggle for mental and social reasons rather than for the basics. But in this story in Malawi, their struggle for food is so intense that it made me think constantly about my life. Actually about all of our lives. Why the hell we are worried for... We have a great life compared to them and yet there are thousand things we complain for. You may say everything depends on the economy and social expendability but yet in this globe where we have humans all over, some are even struggling for the very basic things. And it made me wonder... how can we call ourselves humans? As a race, we have failed. Not only ourselves, but the whole animal kingdom we share the blue ball alone with.

And the effort the writers has taken to recreate the exact moments William experienced is tremendous. We can simply transform ourselves and live the moment. Probably feel the moment too. And yes, liveliness of the book is something I say here repeatedly.

If you think extensively for a moment about the many problems people suffer, you may find those problems occur mainly because of the leaders. When the leader is shitting on his people, there's no way the people could win. Improper decision making always strike back in the long run. Greed of the leader leave so little for a country. And those greedy leaders consciously promote being greedy and hence give birth to many greedy henchman in his below levels. And it spreads to the entire society. Greed and power dominates. Slowly there are 10 per cent of greedy people holding 90 per cent of the wealth of the country. And the rest of the 90 per cent of people suffer with the little 10 percent of wealth they have. And I once again realized that truth. Greed always leads a country to poverty.

But this is a book about victory. And a tough journey of a single guy towards it. In William's stories of hard times, there are moments that would bring a smile to your face and probably a tear to your eyes. A forgiving father by the name of the god and few kind words and actions of a teacher who wished all the success for a student, might fire you up in tears. It's just those little things that make you happy. And better not forget the goosebumps you'll have when you join with the emotions of the characters in some wonderfully written moments.

One good thing I love about the country I live is the free education and healthcare. Of course it's not perfect and has many drawbacks but still what we have is better than nothing. So the fact that Malawians have to pay for the higher education is something I felt terrible.

The most interesting thing about this kind of a story is it has that underdog tone. At least that's something I loved about that. In fact, almost all the people love a story where once ignored guy becomes the hero.

Another thing I could connect tightly with William is because what he does is straightforward to me. With the little electrical knowledge I have, I totally understood how his mind worked. And how he thinks of matters and reverse engineering the result to an initial state is exactly the logical way anyone could think of. He remembered me the childhood I had with small motors and batteries. And many other things I tried to make. But all I made was a cob web remover. It's just a rod attached to a small motor powered by a single D type battery. The rod was a 1.5 feet long eakle taken from a coconut leaf. and it was attached to he metal rod of the motor by a plastic inner ink tube of a ball point pen. The spinning of the eakle removes the cob webs almost perfectly. It's not much but the fun was remarkable. Anyway, with those memories colliding with William's story lured me to a combined journey together.

I know that this is one success story and there could be hundreds, maybe thousands of unsuccessful stories. Their achievements are only staying with them due to the lack of recognition nevertheless they enjoy every moment on the journey achieving it. Recognition is the reason that we got to knew the story of William Kamkwamba. But that doesn't mean Williams story is less. He's now a hero of mine.

Avilenasului (2020) - Sinhala Movie

Today's movie lovers in Sri Lanka are in love with movies not because of Sinhala movies nor because they love the theater experience. Most people watch movies at home in TVs, PCs or mobile devices than in a theater. That's why we have to face some specific issues while watching a movie in theater. For example, when you watch a non-Sinhala movie with a subtitle and if you miss a dialogue, there is no way to backward it for a few seconds. And if a particular scene takes too long to process in mind, we miss the progression. Because of these things, watching a movie in a theater is a different experience than watching a movie in any other private way. In a theater, our comprehension and processing ability are tested.

I wanted to tell this because there were many occasions I felt the need to backward the movie few seconds and re-watch. This was not because of a processing issue but because I simply wanted to re-watch the scene. And it's the first time this happened while watching a Sinhala movie. That's because it's frames and camera work was excellent. So, till I watch the movie in the future in another format, I thought of writing down some thoughts about it. Actually, this is not entirely about the movie. Just a few things I felt later about the surroundings of the movie.

I realized that I was not alone in meeting Tarantino and David Lynch in the movie after reading some relevant material about it. The style of the scenes, the use of colors, the music used, the nature of the events and the violence are some features I spotted in Avilenasului. I've seen almost all the Tarantino movies, but only seen a few of Lynch's. I wanted to clarify what I saw in Lynch’s movies so what I read and watched helped me to understand Awilenasului a bit more. I have not properly learned about these things. Therefore, these ideas may not be 100% fundamentally correct.

Lynch is considered a surrealist moviemaker. He talks about an idea that exists outside or inside what is actually seen on screen in his movies. Sometimes he takes the person who watches the movie, into the movie. An improbable event or object constructs events of the movie. Understanding them also depends on the capacity of the person who watches. Lynch presents a series of events rather than a perfectly standardized story. Interpretations can vary according to what each person feels and understands through those events. And I have not heard that Lynch explained any of his movies. He says that he makes a movie in the language of movies. They cannot be understood in any other language. In that sense, he is a director who never gives the audience any chance or forgiveness.

Avilenasului is technically a nearly perfect Sinhala movie. The camera operates at a range never seen before in a Sri Lankan movie. It is a new experience to see such frames. There is certain loneliness behind the colors. It is very rare for a local movie to express itself in colors. Like I said before, there were a number of scenes that I felt I should watch again. Overall the look of the movie is attractive. It's a quality job.

I heard the same quality in the music. ‘Manike mama aye gedara enawa’ is a theme in a way. Anyone can link to the repetitious consent in the song to the movie. The small part of Priyantha Sirikumara among the actors pops up differently from the rest. He should be given more opportunities.

Usually the fantasy of the Sri lankan cultural people is to get married. 'Then' make children, take care of them and spend the cycle of nature. But there is very little cultural talk about the challenges after that 'then' section. It says that problems of the family should keep inside the family. As a result, one is less likely to know about the unpleasant situations and stress that he/ she may face when living together for a long time. People live on the ground and understand the rules can manage this. But I think the chances of that not happening are very high. By now, social media is absorbing some of that family pressure. However, even after being released on social media, one cannot predict the decisions one will make regarding a difficult family situation. Avilenasului kind of ignited that thought inside me.

We Sri Lankans are grown with stories. Stories with a beginning, a middle and an end are the common type of stories we’ve heard. Many people become movie lovers as an extension of the desire to listen to and enjoy stories. Serious movie lovers are constantly on the lookout for different types of movies. Enjoy different flavors along the way. Awilenasului is a film with a different flavor that was developed in Sinhala cinema. If you go for a story behind it, it'll be a mess for you. This is more of a series of events than a story. May be you’ll feel that there are several stories behind it. Or are there two instances of the same story? Or two representations of the same story? A present encounter with the past? Or is it a simple story that includes only what you see and nothing more?

It is up to the person to sort it out. Even if you go to the theater with a group, the movie gives you a personal experience. Yes, all the movies are like that but this is extraordinary.

This is not a movie that suits everyone. But if Sri Lankan cinema is to develop, films like this are needed. That diversity is essential to attract Sri Lankan film fans that enjoy international cinema with a variety.

Soosthi (2020) - Sinhala Movie

I went to the theater in an empty background about the movie without even watching the trailer. All I could remember was that it was a road trip movie starring Dasun Pathirana. Until about fifteen minutes into the movie, I thought Dasun would play a main character. :P

If you take the whole idea I had about the film, I have to say GREAT! If polished a bit more, it would have been REALLY GREAT! Right now, a significant number of people in Sri Lanka are at least internationally familiar with quality movies and teledramas. So you can't fool them. It's something that can be felt by a person who usually watches any type of movies. So that's what I think. It’s a great job. A little more polish would have made it really great. Nevertheless it's great as a movie made in Sri Lanka. Soosthi is not the kind of movie that most people would watch anyway. But further efforts to diversify the tastes of the majority must continue. No need to be stuck in two ‘thousand five hundred’ and ‘five hundred and fifty’. Soosthi is a film that can appeal to traditional audiences as well. So it should be promoted by the non-majority who has tasted it. This effort is for that.

‘Soosthi’ is a film that will not fool the audience who are looking for diversity in cinema. I've seen a lot of Hollywood or European movies like this, but this is different. Because behind this road trip, they were able to catch the current truth in Sri Lanka right now. ‘Susthi’ is a film that punch our face with the nakedness of the society. I love this emerging branch of Sinhala cinema and I wish it to be strong. Because this movie comes from a study of films and society. It doesn't seem to have come out just because there are tools to make films. Such a thing would only come up completely if people watched it in theater.

I knew about Kalana's writings because I had read that he had published a book of poetry. After watching an interview on YouTube, I had the idea that he was a man with a reading about the whereabouts. So there was hope for his writing.

The writing is in a very good place, but I have the impression that it could have been done better. The dialogue that develops within the film is advanced. But behind some dialogues I got caught at one or two places that are not practical. It feels like a glitch in a video. I don’t know if those conversations within the movie could be brought down a bit more. Maybe the extension of their discussions about this film will come out in the next production as well.

Much of what was said above is negligible due to the performances of Kalana and Samanali. I have never seen a Samanali act before and I have not even watched Kalanas Koombio teledrama in its entirety. I think Samanali's acting is wonderful throughout the film. Kalana's dialogue delivery is probably very natural maybe because he wrote it himself. Both of them understand the character and realized they are in the scene.

On the other hand, I don't think characters of parents need in this. Those few scenes break the flow and the fact that they didn't exist doesn't bother the theme of the story. Perhaps Kushan and Kalana wanted to put an unreadable angle behind the film during the discussions between the two lead actors.

The vibe is great with the music and the lyrics. Camera operation is a next level job. There were several scenes that were filmed for quite a time in a single shot. I had never seen Sinhala films with such work before. The dialogue behind those long scenes means that the group has taken the work seriously.

I think the current social change in our country (and perhaps in the world) is due to the disruption of education. There are many people who do not know words like patience and discipline. They do not understand how to look at a problem from different angles, and do not understand how to work with mutual respect. It was not an instantaneous thing. With the change in the economic and social systems, the methods of adapting to them are not updated. It is now widespread throughout our society. Something that is so ubiquitous and repetitive. Someone who is tired of all that and bored might want to kill him/ herself. Would a second be enough to make you want to see life differently?

I think this film is an experiment in a way. The distance that a script like this can go in Sri Lanka is being tested. Although there are action level creations about politics, I have not seen a film that was made from a philosophical point of view. I think this is a good approach to work like that. A film that puts a headline reading and conversation about society. Since everyone is a socio-political analyst these days, I think this one would have value. This is what Sri Lanka needs.

The Newspaper (2020) - Movie!

We wanted to see this Sinhala film in the theater because Sarath Kotelawala and Kumara Thirimadura have never failed us before. That's from their acting. We expected that they would do a great job as directors as well. That's why I went to the theater without reading a single note posted by people who had seen this. I watched the trailer while writing this post. Actually I had missed it.

This is a movie that made a pretty perfect impression. Nearly Perfect. As far as I understand, it is a work in which all the artistic and technical aspects such as acting, screenwriting, editing, art direction and music have contributed equally and to the fullest. As if there were no flaws and that should be told at the beginning.

As a Sinhala film, this feeling of perfection came to an end after 'Ho Gana Pokuna' and 'Komali Kings'. I did not go to a theater and watch a Sinhala movie after those, so there is no way I can get caught in a good sinhala movie.

This raises optimism about the future. Now there are two other directors who can work for Sinhala cinema. If their first job is successful enough, they will continue to work hard to make Sri Lankan movie fans as well as the world.

The screenplay is often the first step in making a film a success. Depending on the country, it may vary. I don't think there are fans in Sri Lanka who go to theater because of actors and actresses. They want a story. A story they can connect with. This is not about people who are drawn to royal stories and religious stories anyway. It's about a significant portion of people who face life in a different way, people who are watching a movie for a little fun, or for change while living a harsh life. It is not an easy task to write a screenplay that can bring together those people and the fans of the religious/ royal stories alone with those who are not in both categories. 'Newspaper' is a work of that level.

It is no coincidence that two or three years ago I was caught up in the magic of Malayalam movies. A significant number of those films are about the lives of the people of Sri Lanka as well. Those stories are our own stories. The stories of the rural Malayalam culture are more a story in Sri Lanka than the stories of any other culture. When you see people drinking arrack with tap water, pre planned drinking parties, wearing rubber sandals and coming home with the sound of chirping after washing face from a river or a well, that's how we've seen Sri Lankan village. Sri Lankan people. And for a long time, that naturalness of pure life missed from sinhala movies. Newspaper is something that felt like a movie that fills that void.

This is run by Sarath and Kumara and later by Mashi but even in a very small role, the best actors in the industry scores. So it builds our confidence in the film. The crew has managed to keep that belief intact throughout the film. Especially Sarath Kumara (single name). The heartfelt friendship we feel behind the chemistry of the two actors is the factor that fascinates us throughout the film. Whatever it is, we feel safe with the idea that they are there for them. The graphics, the moment-to-moment music, and the silly interludes all help to maintain this feeling. The fire of all this can melt your eyes and flow in the final scene.

I thought Lewis' character should have developed a little more. At times, I even thought that they could have given him more dialogs without being that dumb. To me he is a character that is not clearly described. It's not an easy character to build. In any case, Mr. Thirimadura's acting is excellent. Lewis' words are gold in a difficult situation.

Usually the essence of a film is hard to put into words. It is something to be understood with a great philosophical and social study. However, in the end, it's the part of the film that stays in our memory and shocks us. Movies that have no such essence are quickly forgotten by us. We watch essence rich movies over and over again. We try to get a little more of that essence into our lives. The 'Newspaper' is a movie with a soul. The feeling we feel throughout the film connects us to those characters. We feel their feelings. Those bonds become our bonds. Behind that, there may come a moment where we judge ourselves.

This is a movie about dust. Dust none of us care. Likewise, this is also a story of people who are neglected. This movie shows it only need just a moment for anyone to be dust. Those who have power and wealth get rid of it, but it is not easy for normal folks to stay out of it. The ideals we believe in, the people who get paid to listen to our complaints, and the many people we trust will not come forward for us in such a moment. But too may often come forward to dust us off. That's what usually happens to us. So this is our story.

Finally, this is not a review. Just howl of a raven that has tasted something good. If you want to see a Sri Lankan movie, spread about this movie for others.

This is a modifies google translation of my Sinhala note about the movie.

Love, Marriage, Family and Children - Part 3 - The big J of others

If you are different, people won't let you be yourself in any manner and will always sneak in to your life in every possible way they can. If we put aside all the other nonsense you have to hear through your entire youth; the main goal in your life (despite doing an earning job) is getting married and have children. After that, they'll advice you on positioning yourself in bed in order to complete a fruitful sex experience that would definitely seed a child. Once you are done, these people won't satisfy enough staying there. After a year or two, they want you to have the second one. Maybe they'll advice you on how to make the baby in different sex than earlier by using ways you've never heard of. It will even not stop there. Then it's about how to select a better school for that child, where are the best (looking?) doctors, where to buy the best food, and soothsayers around the country who correctly predict what's wrong with the child and so on and so on...

Being child-free doesn't relieve you from any of that. Same problems will trouble you in different formats. It's even worse since your choice makes others nervous. And it's the most fundamental thing in their problem against you. But they will never talk about it. Probably they never even understand it. It's about the choice. A vast majority of people are living in a modeled life they are given at birth. They have even perfected it while growing in. They make very little obvious choices through-out their entire life. Hence, when they see someone having a different choice of living, it makes them terribly miserable. And they counter attack brutally by judging and pointing. Probably continuously reporting how good and complete their lives are compared to yours. They kind of enjoy repeating the same thing. If you see carefully, you'll easily understand that most of them are only good at that, rather than living an ordinary life. They want to know other's stuff and spread them. A way of life lived by our ancestors since long time ago. Well, if you don't understand any of this, it doesn't matter. You too are probably in the same pool and I don't want to argue. Because nothing matters.

My best friend at office is working at a different section and the countless chats between us are mostly about people at office. A little "Linda langa sangamaya" if you like to call it but it's between us. She has this neighboring colleague who is a young man; newly married and has become a father about a year ago who is a 'Cheeththe' by her definition. He's all nosy about she and me being good friends. Actually this friend of mine was the first person who helped me to mingle with this office after I got transferred here and she was a good friend since then. The taste for movies made the friendship a sustaining one. Her neighboring fellow is nosy about she being a friend of mine because I do not have many friends at office.

Sorry if I got off topic but believe me it's all here to set the background. This is just one person. There's more and I probably will not talk about them here. Recently, this fellow has asked her whether I drink with my wife. She knows I do but she just had asked him back to inquire me directly if he has anything to know about my family. She told me the story furiously with a hateful tone. She is not married and having a relationship with a person. In a nutshell, she also is living a life with a choice. This neighboring fellow has a problem with people with choice.

Few months back he had a problem with me because I watch so many movies. He told he don't have any time to watch a movie because he has to take care of his child when he's at home. And now he has the urge to know whether I drink with my wife. And he's just the perfect example of the many people you'd find around.

They have this blistering problem with people who live by a choice. They want to know what those "Odd" people get by being "Odd". They want to know why they are not satisfied even while having everything the standard model of life expects.

They have a huge J against people with a choice.



To be Continued ...

Love, Marriage, Family and Children - Part 2 - how much you know of your partner

I never wanted a typical married life then. And even now I think marriage destroys relationships. It pulls flying people to ground and glue them tight without letting them fly again. And then it continues as a typical "marriage". Things as bills, various expenses, monthly commitments and family responsibilities become the main reason to be together than anything else. Didn't want that. Didn't wanna kill myself. Wanted to keep loving. Wanted a perfect love. And that's the idiot I was. Should have known that there is no such thing as perfect love.

But in Sri Lanka, there's no possible way of living like that. Whether you like it or not, if you want to have sex with the woman you love, unless it's a sex intedded one, you have to marry her. And let her parents be happily sleeping knowing their daughter holding hands with a legally bonded man. Also for your parents to be satisfied ultimately, thinking their son will behave responsibly and follow the targets to become a man accumilating stuff as wealth, which they consider as the key to prosperity.

So we had to think and decide whether we want to live together for the foreseeable future. The decision was firm and we never talked about it much then and even after, until recently.

And that question lead to many things.

I thought to ask her whether we should consider about a kid because I felt she was suffering from being a No-child woman. But I never had any idea how deep her feelings could have been hurt on that matter. Sometimes I couldn't even tollerate people asking about kids from me. Those people get amazed by hearing that we don't have kids even after being married for 5 years. Some people have tried to convince me to go to see a specific monk or a doctor who treats for those situations. No kids situations. And believe me there are a lot of married couples who are in need of kids and don't have the capacity. It's some kind of a physical or mental problem and there are a lot of people doing treatmets for that. In fact it's kind of an industry. But I don't know how many couples succeeded following those.

So when a couple don't want kids by their choice, people can't beleive it. I got used to keep my mouth shut than trying to explain it to people who ask. Because lot of people don't really know about having a choice. And I knew she had been facing the same situation double time.

She never talked much but I felt her sorrow in occasions when the subject was on the table. Maybe it's not entirely on that, it seems she got bored on how her life moves on. And I'm sure she was bored of me too. As for every other couple, boredom was slowly overcoming our lives. So the question I asked about children lead to many other questions about our relationship. After many heart breaking sessions, for good or bad, life continues. Still!

Problem is, is she strong enough to face the society as a no-mother? She seems to be standing firm in many other cases, but this is in a different level and I'm not sure how she handles that. What if she's sufering under her blanket? What if she secretly blaming me and her self, and our marriage?

For me to have kids, there's no reason other than the need to keep the relationship with her intact. (Poor me, I thought she'll never leave me if we had a baby) If a baby is going to add additional stability to our lives, I'd probably enjoy being in it. But as per the experience so far with the people, I don't think a kid is the ideal solution to keep the stability of a family.

Breaking bad! Half cooked notes!

It's all of what they say. It deserves to be one of the best TV series, period. So I'm not gonna talk about the typical aspects and details of the series.

But I want to talk about how my mind worked through the episodes. Not much but there's nothing coming to mind to upload on this page.

To put it in a single sentence, it's about the struggle, struggle of the people for the couse of there lives which they believe that they live for.

it's ironic how Walter White kind of lose the very expectation of his life. Losing his wife and kids over some stupid disbelief. And I hated his wife for that. But she cannot be blamed. It's what any woman may do. The only problem with her is that she didn't give WW a chance to prove himself worthy of what he did.

Wife moving on with another man means doing the same thing against her husband. As back to back for husband which she believed had an affair with a second phone line. And that means the unfaithfulness can lead to many disasters. And how Walter handled the situation is totally acceptable because of the culture. If it happened is SL or in a country with a similar cultural background, which treats the family as a holy one, the family will be ripped apart badly by the situation.

And Skyler not giving enough chance to WW to explain him self is the key to extend the story.

Love the intro music and those spanish songs throughout.

What is the character of his elder son Walter junior, he doesn't add much to the story. But he's like a catalyst. The entire family revolves around him in critical situations. And thus advances the story. The character of Hank, the DEA agent being a relative seems odd but it also does a main part in advancing the story. The story could be built the same way even if those were not there. but those are smart character placements. They are balancing the story.

WJ is balancing the family but he cannot go to extremes due to his physical state. If he was a fully capable kid, he would have follow his father and mother maybe and spoil the whole thing. But he's not and he's kind of sticking the family together from the start. He's the reason the white family being together after all. Maybe even from the beginning.

All the characters are well played. And without arguments i can say my favourite character is Jessie. Aaron Paul is excellent in this character. He's pronounce, eyes, and moods are really excellent. And it even wanted me to watch some his other performances.

Can't accept the mistakes WW giving out. There were not much and don't remember enough to mention the exact moments but there were some unacceptable plot holes to continue the story. But as a smart person like WW cannot be like that.

If we started the whole story from a middle, we won't find Walter a promising one since we have no idea of his motives to be the person he become. We might not make him the hero but a criminal. Ironic.

Obsession can ruin you. In the last season, WW's obsession with the business and Skyler's obsession with what happened with Ted ruins their lives.

It's like a wound that newer cures. You don't let it be cured. You poke it with a fork and thus keep it a wound.

OMG the star trek dialog by two meth heads amazed me as a Trekkie.

Actually these notes were just typed while watching the series about 4 months ago and when I had the time to post, didn't remember why I wrote some lines. So this is just a half cooked post.