Love, Marriage, Family and Children - Part 6 - Biggest Enemy

So, I'm afraid to raise children, because I'm lazy? Maybe because I'm afraid to pass my unhealthy genes? My illnesses? Am I afraid to see a suffering child specially when the reason is me along?

Is it maybe because I met a partner who agreed to a partnership without children? Even though I really want to believe Love, I know it fades. I mean I believe love as a solid thing but the affection slowly fades. Is it evolved in that way to populate the gene pool with variety. Love and affection are initially there to make a couple go crazy and make children. But then children become a reason for them to hold on to each other. I've stayed almost 10 years married and I now know somethings are meant to be learnt by firsthand experience. I'm happy with the decisions I've made and I'm pretty sure that in a way or another, I'll end up being the same me. But I know many relationships would make the offspring varied. Not my problem though.

What drives people to keep reproducing? Whatever it is, it is always a winner.

If you don't have children, you should be on alert for another thing. Make yourself busy. Occupy your mind in something. Otherwise, the boredom will make you go nuts. Usual days with your partner might make you want to get out of the same routing and would end up damaging the relationship. So, you must maintain a 'happening' life.

Some people make kids and say that they wanted kids just for the sake of their lust of having kids. They don't expect the kids to look after them when they are old so basically, they are just parents with no regrets. They just make kids and let them go out to the society. Not expecting anything else from the kid. So ultimately the only thing they gain from making kids is the happiness of looking after them and see them being grown into adults.

If you really need the joy of having kids you can have it in many other ways. Adopt a dog and you can have the joy of looking after it and watching it growing into an adult and expect nothing from it. I know it's rude to say. So, All I say is making a child is an option. If you feel it's worthy, go for it. And remember you have to stay with them for some time. Otherwise, you are cruel even than me.

Speaking of releasing children to the society, I recently visited one of my friends and the last time I visited him is for his wedding. How he's a father of 2 kids, 8 and 2 years old and the 8 year one is a disaster. He's trying to show himself off to us strangers. He was climbing trees and riding his bicycle with hands off. We took them a pack of chocolates and the parcel was on a chair. I called the guy and said we bought it for him and he can take it. But he was so shy to take the chocolate in front of us. That's how exactly we were when we were young. We were afraid of strangers because there wasn't many. And what I felt is, this young fellow must do everything his father did and whatever he become, he'll be living the same life. We call it life but it's just the nature (Or whatever) surviving through another body.

It says people need a hope to live. It's a fundamental thing as I've noticed. In many days my hope of the day is to have a tea or pulp drink with a cigarette in the evening. Then maybe have a cigarette before sleeping. Just two hopes to run. Less fuel for life.

If you considered it more, living without hope is the real challenge. It doesn't mean you have to face it. But for some, living in the edge could be the meaning of life. Not making the next generation.

We try to give huge meanings to the word 'love'. We try to give it universal values, but practically the word 'love' exists in stereotype form in the world. The hardest thing is to maintain love without any expectations. If it is not reflected in the social or family system, it will lose its value. Love has a definition. If your love doesn't fit, such love becomes lonely. But even being alone like that, maintaining love is a challenge. After two people fall in love, get married and have a child, other values are added to the bond between them. Even if it is a chemical thing for the survival of the system, we have given values to it. If you cross that line, the challenges faced by two people who are together just for love are huge. We think that those challenges are from the outside society, but the real challenge is between them. That's what makes living together just for love a challenge. You have to save your love from your selves because you are the biggest enemy of it.