Judge a person all by yourself and...

Most of the times in my life, I’m being idle as a lazy person. Sometimes it’s giving me troubles but it’s who I am after all. People have to accept me on that condition even though I’m not in to make their plans unachieved.

So while doing various things which drives me time to time, I’m a lazy wimpy guy in a third of a quarter.

This is a time I spend most of the time being idle, doing nothing except the thing at the office. I also invented a smiley to simply identify ‘being nothing’. it’s <>. Just those lesser than and greater than symbols. That’s to mention that I’m being idle doing this and that and nothing specific. I text my girl that smiley when she asked ‘What the hell you are doing?’

So I’m so much not in to write this right now but the inner sorrow I suffered pulled myself into the terminal again.

It happened yesterday at the office. As we are the salary processing branch of a district office which process salaries of over 2000 employees, we were busy collecting and entering data to the database in past few holydays. Since there was a unofficial gossip saying the salary day is 22nd of February instead of 24th, We had to speed up the process in order to meet the deadline.

But a single member of the branch was missing. Let’s call her Akila. Akila is a newbie who started her duties about 5 months ago. She had given her line of work to another colleague (OK, her name was Geethika) and she was working as twice as much. Myself and my superior concerned the stuff and noticed some mistakes Akila had done. And those were some extreme mistakes, and surely not for the first time. Since we didn’t have proper authority to correct them, we had to wait for Akila to come and give her keys for the documents.

Until then we blamed on her with others. We blamed on her because she didn’t appear in a critical situation and for her irresponsibility for her work. We were in a total neglecting mood about her.

We never expected that the truth might be going to hurt us badly. But it happened. Akila’s story was revealed today, as a secret among few people. I’m not going to share it here but believe me it was so bad. She was hiding her problems from all of us and had her self being busy during working hours. It is an achievement to complete what she had completed before her absence. And the truth was shocking. And made our eyes wet, a little bit. And that sorrow was giving me a terrible pain during the whole day. I know it’s not going to get over by myself even after posting my thoughts here.

Never judge a person all by yourself.

That’s what I learnt from it. It was my mistake to blame her like that without knowing what the real story is. And the real story will never come out except by the coursing person him/herself. So without knowing the real situation, never blame a person. It’s surely hurt you later.

The root for my sorrow is that I believed myself as person who does not blame others like that. Yes, I’m usually not that kind of a person. I’m not a person who’ll take the first story as the truth and forget everything else. I’m usually giving all the others there chance and being the last one to have it. And even for ideas, I’m always keeping my stupid ideas for me while others are continuing with their stupider ideas. I’m just giving them the chance to have it all. Being satisfied with the things I already have.

But this! This suffers. I couldn’t see her face today after she came back from the vacation. I never spoke to her. I had her face visualized and noticed that there was a sad story inside her smile. And my superior and myself took a secret decision to help her out in her duties without letting her know.

That’s the least thing we can do to let her come out with her problems without thinking much about her work.

My worthless Rs.500.00

Today I went to my doctor to get consulted (What the hell, are there any other reasons for me to go to a Doc?) on my asthma situation which strikes me occasionally in these cold days. He asked the same question repetitively mixing together. And finally gave me the same medicine which I took from him about 14 years ago. Yes, for asthma, this is the second time I'm consulting a doc for 14 years. And the damn same one! That's the miraculous power of that pill he gave me last time.

I’m just gossiping around without being to the point which caused me to write this.

After coming back, I posted an FB status update saying it took Rs. 500.00 away and I understood the real meaning of ‘Arogya parama labha’. A quote from the Buddha. It means ‘being healthy is profitable’ simply.

Then I realized it’s not worth sharing because I usually spend more than that in a month for alcohol plus sometimes for smoke. And I haven’t complained about that to anyone, not even to myself. I’m not even worrying of billing my expenses for alcohol, never will think of sharing something like “Spent Rs. 1000.00 for the party with my friends”. Regarding those expenses, this Rs. 500.00 after 14 years is negligible.
Then the real strike began. Am I unconsciously thinking that drinking is bad? Since that’s the sudden thought came in to me to avoid the sorrow of Rs. 500.00, am I really a cheater in drinking? It’s like saying this to myself. “You spend much more on worthless alcohol without a word and you just worry about this damn Rs. 500.00 which will gain your health back.” And it means I’m not approving my drinking habits.

I collapsed!

I gave it a thought and some weird ideas came in. There should be a way to get rid of this frustration on myself and on alcohol. So I rethought it as this. Expenses for drinking are usual and it’s something I need to bear in sharing time with my friends. And I do know that I have to allocate a fair amount from my salary for that. So it’s something like paying a monthly bill for me. It’s like an amount already allocated. That’s the reason for me to not be worried about it.

But this; for health I’m soooo much a lazy guy. I think the best medicine for me is sleeping and I say it affirmatively. Better rest will make your healthy issues go away.

But if the sleep goes for days, you better go for some med no matter the portion of balls you spend from your body. Otherwise the entire world will come to eat your brain.

Live with ronnie at whompcomic

Ronnie is a fatty artists. He likes drawing comics, playing video games and those comic TV programs. He lives with Agrias. A Chinese girl. He also has an imaginative friend called 'Motivation Dude' and he's the one who forces Ronnie to draw.

Ronnie also has a girlfriend called Mai and she has gone away for further studies.

If you are a web comic lover, no problem. Go and live with Ronnie. And If you are not a web comic lover, you should start with this.

Go to http://www.whompcomic.com/ press the << button to the very beginning and slowly come to the present! You'll enjoy it very much and surely will realize it's worth!

http://www.whompcomic.com/

Why should I worry?

I know I have to complete the quest I started about religions and stuff. It's again the laziness which punches me time to time. So I'm just gonna end this up with the conclusion of the conversation I had with my friend.

And I'm gonna sleep for sometime.

The conclusive point my friend took there was "my death". Since I'm an atheist and not committed to any social group, how my after death preparations will proceed? It' was an ultimate problem for him. Well, I was thinking about it for some time. Actually for a long time. I've taken a decision for some time and that's it about it.

I don't care.

I don't care about what will happen after my death. Should anyone be worried about that? I don't think so. Since I got nothing to possess and to lose, I'm not worried about myself at all. Why worrying about my corpse?

If I've had a good life with friends and relations when I'm dying, they'll care about it. I'm gonna prepare a will mentioning that my funeral should be done within hours and no religious thing should be done ;-) Since my friends and relations are religious, should I mention if they did religious funeral with my corpse, I'll come as a ghost and scare them? :D Anyway, If I'm gonna be a loner and away from all the loved ones, still I'll make friends around to do whatever they want to do with my body. Otherwise it'll be tasted by dogs and crows if the government failed to dispose it at the time.

But apart from all, I'm planning to donate my body to a medical college so they can experiment on one of the extincting species on earth.

Living a lie!

A Friend who mistakenly happened to read my previous post is asking me whether I'm a religious person or not. And there was a fascinating discussion between him and me. I'm not gonna vomit everything here but some hilarious points, if I may say.

The friend was so much confused by hearing that I'm an atheist. (I do not prefer saying that because atheism has became something like a religion too. But I have no other words for what I am.) His confusion was fair because he saw me at my Father's and Aunt's funerals which happened during a year of time. He saw me worshiping monks rapidly then and there and smoothly getting done all the religious practices which are needed in a Sri Lankan funeral house. Also he had seen the pictures of me holding the Cheevaraya so devoutly at the Kathina Pinkama which was an event at my good friends place. He has been thinking that I was a very holy spiritual person and suddenly got confused by the post.

He asked me why all those religious rituals by me if I'm an atheist? The answer was simple. And it's a common answer for me in lot of cases. "This is Sri Lanka. And we are living in a community."

The community do not consider what really we are. All it needs from us is adhering to it's standards. So a religion for a person is a need and those rituals required by those religions are musts. In order to live in what we believe, we have to act a double. One is the real character with the believes of our true self and the other, the character community need in it's standards. Yes, it's a game of living among various other games we are in.

As my good friend Mr. Ganegoda say, living a lie is the game itself, with the system which prevents us living in our true selves. That scenario leaves us much to laugh. Mostly for the idiotic things we do by the name of the community.

So after all, I have a religion which comes handy with forms I have to fill, interviews I have to face and in any needed moments likewise. But still, I'm not religious by all means.

Be religious, if you are not self confident!

Religions are almost complete systems. That's the utmost reason for them to sustain longer than other idolatrous concepts. Religions has given the answers for all the desired problems a person which he may occur with. No matter the answer, it is made believed by the owners (probably not by the authors) of the religion. But since the reality is not staying perfectly streamed, and new knowledge is ever expanding across the traditional believes, religions must come out with magical concepts.

So there are so many crappy concepts about life, death and the stage in between. The results of good and bad and reincarnation with the knowledge gathered in the previous lifetime. Do better and go to heaven, otherwise to hell. A person's disease identified as a result of a sin he has done and so forth.

Endless!

Lot's of people are there to believe them. Disregarding the fact that all the crap there, (Though there are some lot of good stuff people are not aware of...) people are believing what ever the owners say about it.

Is it because people are not self confident to live and learn from life. The ups and downs and goods and bads?

Or are they blinded by the magical theories of those systems?

Or is it because they are lazy to use their brains a bit and get out of it. Do they think that staying at their cage is better than coming outside...

What ever, the ultimate reason of a living thing is nothing else than living itself.

So what the hell!

You smoke, you die.

You quit smoke, still you'll die.

selfishnesssssss!

Life is selfish itself. And that meaning is true even when applied to the whole concept of life. It's there to exist. By the means of existence life becomes selfish. As a person of selfish thoughts, it's hard to forget about the self and dedicate to others. Yes it's hard. And I bet that no one can totally exist by the means of others.

But one can chose to be or not to be for others. That's neither politics nor religious. Affirmatively not about being a good guy and be loved. It's hard to dedicate, especially without being benefitted. So living in a world mixed up is harder. One must have to give up himself for other while a part of him wants those others to get fucked off. So it's not an easy living for one which doesn't want to choose. Or just want everything (perhaps).

But when he's compromised with himself to be for another, he'll need to forget himself, for a moment at least. So when he is committed for someone else, he'll need to forget everything of himself...

...including others which he treats as himself.

Should those internal others sue him as a selfish freak?

I know this is bullshit. It's the most straightforward explanation for all this.